I love meeting new people, even if it makes me a little nervous. But one set of words that I hear at mixers and networking events makes me really want to run for the hills. You may have uttered1 these words. And I want to share some alternatives with you, so that youll make more connections, rather than having people dash off.

我喜欢认识新朋友，即使这会让我感到有的紧张。但从交友活动中听到的一些话让我真想逃之夭夭。你或许会说出这类话。我期望和你推荐一些别的说法，如此你会交到更多的朋友而不是叫人们对你避之不及。

Last night, I attended a fun networking event in Berkeley, full of people who are on linkedIn. The event was hosted by Ilene Koehler, who set us up in speed-dating fashion, to mix and mingle2 for five minutes per couple, and then move on. I noticed that three of the people I met immediately introduced themselves by saying something like this:

昨天晚上，我在伯克利参加了一个有趣的交友活动。不少人是linkedIn社交网站的网友。 这次活动的主持人是Ilene Koehler。她主持大家进行速配约会，每一对交流五分钟，然后换不一样的对象。我发现我见到的人中有三个直接如此介绍自己：

Hi. Im John Doe. And Im unemployed3.

嗨，我叫John Doe，我没工作。

Shoot, this isnt an AA meeting. But those initial4 words left me feeling awkward5 and sorry for my fellow networkers. Somehow, I felt obligated, like I was supposed to help out. The energy between us felt heavy. So I actually told one of these networkers, Hey, you shouldnt say your unemployed. Say youre between jobs. Or tell people that youre looking for a new job in whatever field youd enjoy. He got the point immediately. He smiled. He felt better about himself.

晕，这不是一次AA制聚会。如此的开场白让我感觉窘迫，并为同来的大家感到抱歉。不知为何，我感觉我需要帮助他们。大家两人之间的氛围变得非常凝重。于是我告诉其中一位：嘿，你不必说自己没工作。说你正在求职。或者告诉其他人你正在探寻一份自己喜欢的工作。他立刻了解，笑了笑，感觉轻松多了。

You see, saying Im unemployed tells people what youre not. And, in this case, it communicates Im not employed. To me, saying Im unemployed sounds a little bit like you dont feel like you fit in with the world. Look, my friends,your self-worth is not determined6 by your job.

你看，说没工作是在告诉其他人自己不是什么。 此时，它传递的是我没工作的意思。但对我而言，它听上去有点像是你感觉自己没融入这个世界。嗨，朋友们，你的自我价值不是由你的工作决定的。

I invite you to consider what really makes up your self-worthlike your caring heart, or your ability to stand tall in the face of adversity. But please know that you are not a social misfit just because some company has not decided7 to bring you on board. Or some organization decided to let you go. A company is not your family, believe it or not. So, if you dont belong to a company, youre still a living, breathing, talented human being.

请你想一想到底是什么构成了你的自我价值譬如：关爱之心、面对逆境坚强不屈的精神。但要了解，只是某公司没录用你或者当某个企业叫你走人并不表明你是社会中的另类。公司不是你的家，信不信由你。所以，假如你不是一个公司，你还是一个活着的、呼吸着的、有才华的人。